Forgiveness might remain theoretical, or an intention that is difficult to put into practice. To make it possible, all kinds of rituals exist or are invented to support and foster it. They anchor forgiveness in a concrete, meaningful experience. This helps mark a before and after-a step forward in the process.
Forgiving Together
Truth and Reconciliation Commissions
These collective rituals help entire populations start anew after a war, a dictatorship, an apartheid regime, or a genocide. Truth and Reconciliation Commissions bring together victims, perpetrators, and witnesses. Victims can tell their stories. This allows them to regain their dignity. Those responsible for abuses are called upon to admit what they have done and to ask for forgiveness from the victims or their families.
Forgiveness Circles
This transpersonal approach provides an opportunity to practice forgiveness toward others and oneself, including toward people who are not present or who have even passed away. Counterintuitively, rather than expecting reparations from those who have hurt them, participants ask for forgiveness by addressing the other participants in the Circle. This act fosters emotional release.
Forgiving Alone or with Loved Ones
- write a letter to the person who wronged us, then burn that letter
- engage in a physical act, such as cutting one’s hair
- take a trip or go on a pilgrimage
- give a gift to express regret
- and other rituals to be invented
Forgiving in Parallel with the Justice System
Restorative Justice
Restorative justice seeks ways to address victims’ needs by prioritizing their healing and recovery. It operates alongside the criminal justice system.
One possible process is facilitating a dialogue between the victim and the offender. This can take place directly, through representation, or via indirect forms of communication.
- The victim can express their suffering, ask questions, and sometimes receive answers about what led the person to commit a crime.
- The offender becomes aware of the consequences of their actions on another person’s life and may ask for forgiveness or offer some form of restitution.
Forgiveness through Religions
Major religions have rites of forgiveness such as: personal or collective requests for forgiveness, prayers, examinations of conscience, pilgrimages, ritual baths, confessions, declarations of forgiveness, and acts of reparation.
An example: What kinds of support or rites are available for war veterans?
People who have participated in an armed conflict often struggle to overcome the trauma of the harm they have caused. Crossing one’s own moral boundaries leads to a great deal of guilt and makes it particularly difficult to forgive oneself. In addition to support groups, certain rituals are sometimes offered: planting a tree, going on a pilgrimage, returning to the site of a battle, or undergoing a rite of reintegration into everyday life.