Forgiveness sometimes means forgiving small things, and sometimes traumatic events that have turned our lives upside down. Four people who met with chaplains agreed to share a part of their personal stories of forgiveness. Read an excerpt from their testimonies here. The full stories can be read here: QR code
Rémi’s Story
Rémi has painful memories involving his mother. As he grew and evolved personally, he came to understand her better and eventually forgave her. Through this experience, Rémi discovered a broader form of forgiveness that also lightened his relationship with himself:
“My most profound experience of forgiveness was being able to hug my mother while feeling at peace with myself. My mind said ‘yes,’ and so did my heart and my body.
Years earlier, after a difficult confrontation, I was able to discover her world, her struggles, and understand that despite all my painful memories, she had done her best. From that moment on, my inner dialogue changed; I largely stopped holding a grudge against her for past suffering. I thought that was what forgiveness was, until the day I was able to hear what my heart was saying. It was still wounded and full of resentment.
As I learn to listen to my heart a little more each day, I’m discovering forgiveness—for myself, for my mother, and for my loved ones—a forgiveness that touches me deep in my gut and brings me such relief. I feel like there’s still a long way to go, and yet these few steps are already so rewarding.
If life sometimes feels a little colorless to you, too, I hope you’ll get to experience this one day. If even a hopeless case like me could do it, so can you.”
Martine’s Story
One day, Martine discovered that her husband was cheating on her. At first, she thought about leaving him. After many discussions with him and her loved ones, she decided to continue her journey with him and to forgive him. As part of her journey toward healing, Martine even went so far as to meet her husband’s former mistress:
“Shortly after turning 40, by chance, I became suspicious of a phone call my husband received while he was sitting next to me. From the sound of her voice, it wasn’t his mother, as he claimed. I realized it was another woman—his mistress! I knew my husband was a charmer with women, but cheating on me? NO!
After several weeks of discussions between my husband and me, with very close friends and everyone around us, we decided to continue our life together as a couple. Personally, though, I would have left him, since I couldn’t accept my husband’s behavior.
This betrayal made me think a lot: in a situation like this, there are three people involved—my husband, his mistress, and me.
In order to continue our life as a couple peacefully, I forgave my husband. I forgave myself, too, because I felt partly to blame for not seeing it coming.
But above all, I met with my husband’s ex-mistress. We talked at length; she listened to me, moved that I was able to meet her—not in anger, but peacefully. I granted her my forgiveness. I got through those difficult times with God’s help, because the word “forgiveness” contains the word “gift,” and I believe it’s a gift from God that I’ve been able to live in peace ever since. It also contains the word “part.” The bitterness and disappointment are gone: I felt liberated.”
Jintao’s Story
Jintao, a Chinese student, came to study for a semester at the University of Lausanne. Faced with loneliness and cultural differences, Jin is going through a difficult time. He is also struggling with intense guilt stemming from the very high expectations he places on himself.
Gradually, thanks to the friendships he forms through a student organization, Jin regains his confidence, stops blaming himself, and stops striving for perfection:
“When I arrived in Switzerland, I thought I was well prepared. (…) But life had other plans.
The difficulties began on my very first day at Vortex, after a two-day flight from Shanghai to Dubai to Zurich. I had no idea how to get my key until a kind lady approached me and explained how lockers work in Switzerland.
I was practically cut off from the rest of the world, because the data allowance on my cheap SIM card was very limited. I was exposed to a French-speaking environment for the first time. I’d never lived outside of China for this long—and here I was in one of the most expensive cities in the world. But none of that was as hard as one thing: missing a meeting with my girlfriend from Lugano, who had taken a 5 a.m. train just to help me settle in. I felt like I’d let her down. And worse still, I’d let myself down.
After a few days of complete isolation and sleepless nights, I realized: I wasn’t just feeling cold. I was punishing myself, as if every mistake meant I deserved less comfort, less attention, less trust. The truth is, I’ll never be good enough to live up to the overly romantic and idealized expectations I have of myself.
That’s when I turned a corner. I realized that self-confidence isn’t built on perfection. It’s built on letting go.
The first time I came to the Chaplaincy was for the raclette party, where I met many of you for the first time. I was curious, so I introduced myself to everyone, without expecting the warmth I received in return—not just from the raclette, but also from the smiles, the “How are you?”s, and the genuine kindness.
It turns out we’re just as curious about each other as I am.
I then embarked on a journey I never would have imagined would be so amazing: I remember very clearly all the Monday dinners, including one during which I shared my very first Chinese recipe with 40 people—stir-fried tomatoes and eggs—and watched them savor it with curiosity. (…)
All these little things began to heal me. They gave me the confidence I needed to forgive myself. They reminded me that I don’t have to be perfect to be accepted. I just have to be present.
Confidence doesn’t come from control. It comes from connection. From community. From being human—and from being good enough just as I am.”
Daniel’s Story
Throughout his childhood, over a long period of time, Daniel was abused by someone he trusted. At age twelve, seeking a path to freedom, he made the decision to forgive his abuser. Afterward, it took Daniel many years to be heard and recognized as a victim, and for his abuser to be held accountable:
“Forgiveness transformed my own life. I was twelve years old when I forgave. Since I was nine, a priest, Father Joël Allaz, had been subjecting me to terrible abuse. One day, during Mass, he gave a sermon on the Virgin Mary. As I listened to him, I realized that this man could say beautiful things while still being capable of the worst. So I prayed: ‘Lord, set me free, and help me to forgive.’ It was clear to me that I had to forgive in order to move on, to set myself free. Otherwise, I was lost. And I forgave. It set me free. I felt an inner sense of liberation. It did me good. I still suffered. The rapes didn’t stop. But that forgiveness was a first step toward the possibility of continuing to live. Forgiveness doesn’t take away the suffering. It’s not a magic wand that lets you just move on!
I went through very dark moments of depression, of wanting to die. But I was always able to hold on to that forgiveness, to that inner strength. It gave me the courage to keep on living, to keep the faith, to get back on my feet, and to serve. Without that forgiveness, I believe I wouldn’t be here today. And it is this forgiveness that allows me, every morning, to get up, despite the anxiety and physical suffering, because I have chosen—and continue to choose, always—the path of love. Christ has conquered death. That is a certainty.
Forgiveness has strengthened me. And it was certainly the catalyst that allowed me to speak out, to find my voice, and to speak the truth. Over time, I came to understand that this forgiveness was not a weakness, but a strength.
Forgiveness is a path to healing, reconciliation, and peace. And above all, it means saying—to oneself and to the world—that love is the strongest force.”